It's midnight in Belton and I have three stories I have to write sometime between now and 11:30 a.m. tomorrow.
That doesn't seem like much. And it's really not considering how short they will likely end up with our small paper this week. But I'm putting it off and putting it off because quite frankly I don't want to do it.
My give a damn is busted and its been busted for six months now.
I keep thinking if I changed jobs or changed direction maybe it would help.
Joining the CWF was a big improvement (for me) in my opinion.
But what happens two years from now, will I still be gung-ho about traveling and introducing wrestlers?
I remember as a kid I would re-arrange my room almost every three months or so. That became a real hassle when I got a waterbed - so that slowed down the changes - but I still wanted change.
I never seem to be content with things. I'm always on the lookout for something better. I don't know if there was a time I was ever really content with life. I'm sure there had to be a time, but when?
I can sit outside under the stars enjoying a cigar and a beer or a glass of wine and be totally content, but that only lasts for a short time. I know its no way to escape the reality of everything else going on. And a few hours of sitting around doing nothing only makes me want to get up and do something creative.
I think I'm totally content when I'm working a CWF show, but then there's the traveling back and forth and the fact that the next day - or the day after - I'll be right back in my office staring at my computer screen, trying to write about something I don't care much about.
I've thought (and written) before that I might be perfectly happy running a bookstore or a restaurant or a pub of some sort. But I would imagine from past experience that at some point, that two would grow old.
I read a recent study that said that college graduates are alarmingly unhappy with their jobs and careers.
My friend and I discussed the stat and wondered if it was because they were settling on a job just to make ends meet, or if our generation is simply not content with life in general.
Read Relevant Magazine and you will find an entire generation of church goers (or former church goers) who are fed up with church as usual and think they have all the answers.
The media says my generation is fed up with the current government and administration - maybe they are. But is it because they all really disagree or they're going with the status quo or maybe they'll never actually be content.
I don't know.
I know the times are changing -often not soon enough - I only wonder if a lack of contentment is a weakness or strength?
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
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