Why the Astros will win.

Allman sent me this....

This is just an all points bulletin to anyone who thinks that the World Series is over. I have a few points of reference to point out to you.

If Dustin Hermanson EVER comes into a game in relief for Chicago then Houston will automatically win the series. Hermanson gave up a top of the ninth bomb to Lance Berkman in San Francisco last year that continued Houston’s second-half tear and has, essentially, put them in this year’s Series. From the point of Berkman’s bomb they won 9 of 10 to get into the playoffs. (That stat has to kill Odell, a beloved Giants fan.)
Last season Houston was dominated by St. Louis in the first two games of the NLCS. They then won three straight at home to take the lead.
Roy Oswalt, Chris Burke, Brandon Backe. Roy O shows no fear. Watch him tomorrow night and you’ll notice that he looks like he’s throwing in the bullpen at Spring Training. No fear. Burke WILL get a huge hit in this series and Houston WILL win Game 4 because Backe is throwing. Backe might not get the win but Houston will.
In 1996 Atlanta won the first two games of the Series by a combined score of 16-1. The Yankees then won four straight and the Series.
The White Sox are from Chicago.
Right now Steve Bartman is on E Bay trying to buy tickets down the left field line for Game Six.
Roger Clemens will NOT end his career by limping off the mound after two innings. He will pitch again in this series.
Jermaine Dye was NOT hit by that pitch last night. It was simply good karma after hit hit a ball off his leg and broke it in the playoffs in 2001. Tomorrow he will wake up and remember that he’s Jermaine Dye.
BTW, Jermaine Dye was on the Atlanta team that choked in 1996. Just letting you know.
Scott Podsednik just recently broke up with his girlfriend, a former Playboy Playmate. No home run ever eases that pain.
The White Sox are from Chicago.
They’ve decided to open up the roof at Minute Maid for Game Three but that’s only because Albert Pujols home run from the NLCS broke all the windows. Houston is dominant at home, even with the roof open.
Paul Konerko will struggle the rest of the series because NO ONE should have 2 O’s and 2 K’s in their last name. This guys is a triple word score in scrabble.

These are just a few of the reasons that Houston will win the series in seven games. It will go down like this:

Game 3 – Roy Oswalt goes 8 complete innings and Houston wins 6-1.
Game 4 – Brandon Backe goes 5.1 innings and Chad Qualls gets the win after Houston scores 3 runs in the seventh to win 5-3.
Game 5 – Andy Pettitte, on short rest, goes 6 complete and Morgan Ensberg hits a grand slam to give Houston a 5-2 win.
Game 6 – Jose Contreras pitches the game of his life, which now spans 86 years, and Chicago wins 6-4.
Game 7 – Roy Oswalt, Dan Wheeler and Chad Qualls hold Chicago to to 1 run through eight innings and Houston enters the bottom of the ninth with a 10-1 lead. Brad Lidge comes in to get some work and Houston wins 10-9.5 (yeah, I wrote 9.5.)

Oswalt and Willie Tavarez share MVP. Clemens retires. Tavarez uses his Series stipend to take English as a second language classes at Houston Community College.