Nelson has been taking the summer off to recover from a serious infection of the Sphenoid Sinus. Nelson is expected to take the remainder of August off, but has posted a letter on his health and condition on the church's website:
Thank you for all of your prayers and cards and encouragements. It has been since late May that I have been out of the pulpit and thought the pastoral update should be by the pastor himself.It's interesting to note that even Godly men face struggles. Life isn't full of bliss because you follow and serve God. Hard times will come. Health issues will arise, depression may overcome you, but God is there.
Follow-up testing and an MRI were done at Baylor in Dallas last week and compared with the one that we had here in Denton when symptoms of illness first started. They indicate that everything looks good. However, the pain in my legs and body, the inability to sleep or rest, and the elevated blood pressure continued and appear to be the result of anxiety/depression that was triggered when I first became ill and were amplified as I began to have to cancel everything on my schedule. It was very hard for us to believe that I could have that kind of physical pain, discomfort, and inability to rest or sleep from depression and that is why we went to Dallas to rule out or confirm some other possibility.
For the last few years I carried a schedule that often had me teaching 20 times a week, editing works, writing books, leading a discipleship program, and many other things. In hindsight, I was probably building an unhealthy level of stress but instead of backing off I just forged ahead until my body through illness and stress said ,"That's all!". These two months have not been restful but rather a time of painful recovery that is not "over", although, now, as I write this, Wednesday July 26, I have had five days in a row in which my body has not had pain, I have had rest, and my blood pressure is somewhat lower. With the pain gone I am much aware of the depression. Depression is something I have only heard about. Something other people fell into. I felt if I could just run or lift weights or get alone with my Bible I could work through anything but I have come face to face with my humanity and mortality. It is like being in a deep pit where you can only hear the outside world and see its shadows, unable to truly interact.
God will bring me through this. I absolutely believe He has allowed this in my life. He has taught me already some precious, though painful, truths about myself and ministry and Himself that only pain can tutor. But it is a slow gradual process. I am still in a place of recovery, trial, and healing. My desire and prayer is that I might know an intimacy with God in a time of struggle that I could never know in times of bounty.
God has given me many visual lessons during His time. I'd like to share one now.
We had propped the door open on our screened porch one day and a hummingbird entered and became trapped inside. Each screened panel looked like an opening but as the hummingbird flew toward it he was bounced back. Frantically he flew from panel to panel looking for the way out. It briefly rested on a wind chime. Then it continued in it's frantic search for an opening to freedom from the porch. This was a place the hummingbird had never been before. I wanted to help it get out but as I went onto the porch he became more afraid and more frantic and went further away from the opening. The hummingbird didn't know if I was there to help or to hurt him. I acted in a manner that was frightening to him. I took the lid to a potting soil canister and began to slowly guide him down the screen to a place where I could put in my hand and grasp him. I took him to the doorway and released him. He flew away in a blur, straight to the top of a tree, to that which he was familiar and safe.
I was comforted as I thought about this event in relation to the trial and depression in which I have now found myself. I am in a place I have never been before but God knows where I am and is with me and can guide me as I quiet myself and submit to Him. At times I have been frantic and flailing and banging myself up trying to get out of this place on my own but have only become exhausted. "Thy way is in the sea" (Ps.77) but it sometimes appears frightening and uncaring. By the sovereign will of God I am where He wants me. I can't get out by my will or might, bodily discipline or self- control. God holds me in His hand. At just the right moment God will release me to soar again.
We live by faith in the revealed word of God but sometimes hummingbirds are full of illumination.
If this is the providential place of God in His perfect will and wisdom then this is where I will be content awaiting His future guidance.
I draw near and rest in Him each day, reading His word and now many of the great works of earlier days but I long to be back in the battle. But sometimes we serve who only stand and wait.
Tommy
Oh, how And how wonderful to live in the sunshine!
Even if you live a long time, don't take a single day for granted.
Take delight in each light-filled hour,
Remembering that there will also be many dark days
And that most of what comes your way is smoke.
You who are young, make the most of your youth.
Relish your youthful vigor.
Follow the impulses of your heart.
If something looks good to you, pursue it.
But know also that not just anything goes;
You have to answer to God for every last bit of it.
Live footloose and fancy-free—
You won't be young forever.
Youth lasts about as long as smoke.
-Ecclesiastes 11:7-10
Honor and enjoy your Creator while you're still young,
Before the years take their toll and your vigor wanes,
Before your vision dims and the world blurs
And the winter years keep you close to the fire.
-Ecclesiastes 12:1-2
But regarding anything beyond this, dear friend, go easy. There's no end to the publishing of books, and constant study wears you out so you're no good for anything else. The last and final word is this:
Fear God.
Do what he tells you.
And that's it. Eventually God will bring everything that we do out into the open and judge it according to its hidden intent, whether it's good or evil.
-Ecclesiastes 12:12-14
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