not this week's column

I'm scrapping this, but figured I'd post it here first for all the world to laugh at.
I decided against it for my column. Just didn't have the same interest, flair and handiwork I laid out in my head on the way home from work.

You know something, if I’m not mistaken -- I believe Thanksgiving is this week.
I only know this because our Thursday newspaper is printing a day earlier than normal.
But if you visited your local stores I doubt you’d have a clue -- that is unless you bought $50 worth of groceries and got a free bird.
I think America has officially skipped Thanksgiving this year.
I turned on my radio last week and two stations in the Metroplex were already playing Christmas music 24/7. I think they may have even skipped Halloween.
But despite the rest of America overlooking turkey day, I happen to enjoy the holiday.
I’d love to see us all return to a day when more emphasis was placed on giving thanks, rather than dreaming of how much money we’ll save at Early Bird Sales on Friday at 4 a.m.
So in order to give each of us more time to enjoy the holiday I’d like to propose a change.
Let’s move Thanksgiving to the second week of August.
After all, what is there to celebrate in August?
Canadians celebrate Civic Holiday on August first, but I can’t see Americans getting to psyched about that one.
And an August Thanksgiving would give us a welcomed break between the Independence Day parties and the unofficial end of summer, Labor Day.
An August Thanksgiving would give us one more reason to fire up the grill and hit the road to see relatives one more time during the summer.
With Thanksgiving in August we could waste the post-Thanksgiving Day lunch by lounging at the pool, lake or floating down the Guadalupe River.
An August Thanksgiving would also give us another two days off from work in the summer. One for the holiday and one for calling in sick because of the bad sunburn you got while lounging at the pool.
Of course with an August Thanksgiving it wouldn’t seem right to watch the traditional Home Alone on T.V. Thanksgiving night.
And an August Thanksgiving just wouldn’t be the same without the Cowboys.
John Madden giving a turkey leg to a baseball player just seems un-American somehow.
But with an August Thanksgiving, each of us could say, “Thanks” and never fear that Christmas would try to steal our day away.
But until that day comes, I’ll just dream of a better time and place -- when Thanksgiving really meant something.