Honest Worship

Sunday morning I got punk'd by several of my friends.
No, I don't quite mean Punk'd like MTV's hit prank television series, but it might have felt just as bad.
As I entered the sanctuary I headed towards the back where my friends typically like to sit.
For whatever reason they had not made it into the sanctuary yet and so I chose an empty row a few rows from the very back.
After 10 minutes or so, I heard my friends laughing and talking as they walked in, only to be surprised that they sat down in the row behind me.
"That's odd." I thought to myself, pretending I didn't notice them.
Shortly thereafter they realized their mistake and began to laugh at the situation without really acknowledging I was even in the room.
Finally after my pastor came by, shook our hands and questioned our strange seating arrangement did we really acknowledge what had taken place.
Yet oddly enough, my friends chose to leave me on the pew, directly in front of them, all alone.
And despite my tough macho front, it stung abit.
No one likes to be left alone and no one likes to be left out.
The situation made me feel worse for a young boy I saw at lunch later who was forced to sit at a table all alone because he was the odd man out in his group of friends.
But despite the temporary humiliation of being punk'd by my friends and the minor sting of sitting alone during the morning service, I had a moment of epiphany during the worship.
As we sang the final song, the words of the song hit me like a lightening bolt.
We sang about Jesus being our everything, and it hit me -- "That's not true -- is it?"
Only 15 minutes earlier I had felt alone and neglected because a few friends decided not to sit by me.
That doesn't sound like someone who believes Jesus is my everything.
That doesn't sound like someone who believes Jesus is even 50-percent of everything.
It sounds more like someone who finds completeness and happiness in the approval of others.
Needless to say, I had to stop singing.
How could I honestly sing words I had trouble living?
I have a feeling that God felt a sting about as bad as I did Sunday morning.
The Prophet Isaiah wrote, "The Master said: 'These people make a big show of saying the right thing, but their hearts aren’t in it. Because they act like they’re worshiping me but don’t mean it.'"
The Prophet Samuel told King Saul, "Do you think all God wants are sacrifices-- empty rituals just for show? He wants you to listen to him! Plain listening is the thing not staging a lavish religious production."
I believe we've become too concerned about looking good and finding approval from sinful man, rather than worshiping in "spirit and in truth."
What if I was to buy my mom a dozen roses?
What if I went out and made sure these were the best roses around? They were the right color, the perfect freshness -- everything was right.
And after I bring them home she gets excited and puts them in a vase on the table and says, "This means so much."
And what if I said to her, "Well I'm your son, its my duty," or "Well they were on sale. I wasn't really thinking of you, but they were cheap and it wasn't a hassle."
The flowers loose all their meaning. Does my mom even want the flowers anymore?
Probably not. If it's not from the heart, my mom could really care less.
One of the central prayers of the Jewish faith is this: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."
I can sing all day long about how Jesus is everything to me, but if it's not from the heart, where is the meaning or truth behind it?
I remember when U2 released their album "Pop" in the late 90's and people every where accused the band of leaving their Christian roots and faith behind.
People said they had lost their religion and were now caught up in the sins of the world.
Critics pointed to "Wake up Dead Man" as the prime example.
In the song Bono sings, "Jesus, Jesus help me. I'm alone in this world and a (messed) up world it is too. Tell me, tell me the story, the one about eternity and the way it's all gonna be...
"Jesus, I'm waiting here boss. I know you're looking out for us, but maybe your hands aren't free. You're Father, He made the world in seven, He's in charge of heaven. Could you put a word in for me? Wake up -- wake up dead man. Wake up -- wake up dead man."
How could a Christian sing those words? Wasn't Jesus alive and well?
Any Christian should know that Jesus isn't dead. Why would they write and sing such herasy?
Yet the more I study and the more I hear the song, I personally believe God was more pleased with that song than the empty words I started singing Sunday morning.
The song reminds me a lot of the first chapter of Habakkuk.
"How long, O LORD , must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, 'Violence!' but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds. Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails. The wicked hem in the righteous, so that justice is perverted."
You would imagine that God might have come down and smitten Habakkuk for his questioning.
Yet God saw his heart and his honesty and reminded him to look outside his own world and see that God was at work in other places as well.
God didn't judge Habakkuk for his honest questioning, but we do see throughout scripture that God does judge those who bring empty praises and rituals to the table.
God takes no pleasure in our sacrifices if our hearts are not involved. They are a burden to him.
They're like the dozen roses. Meaninglesss.
Finally, it's interesting to note, that after questioning God and even hearing that God would bring destruction to Israel, Habakkuk sang praises from his heart.
"God, I’ve heard what our ancestors say about you, and I’m stopped in my tracks, down on my knees. Do among us what you did among them. Work among us as you worked among them. And as you bring judgment, as you surely must, remember mercy... Though the cherry trees don’t blossom and the strawberries don’t ripen, though the apples are worm-eaten and the wheat fields stunted, though the sheep pens are sheepless and the cattle barns empty, I’m singing joyful praise to God. I’m turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God. Counting on God’s rule to prevail, I take heart and gain strength. I run like a deer. I feel like I’m king of the mountain!"
And similarly, the next song U2 released was "Beautiful Day."
"The heart is a bloom that shoots up through the stoney ground. There's no room, no space to rent in this town. You're out of luck and there's no reason that you had to care. You thought you found a friend to take you out of this place, someone you can lend a hand in return for grace. It's a beautiful day. The sky falls but you feel like a beautiful day."
May the words and praises of our mouth be true overflow of our heart.